Well its been a while, been keeping up on a private page via the mobile phone. My how far technology has come from writing in a paper book called a diary to now what we call a blog. We have been in Grand Prairie now since November, well I have been in Grand Prairie since November, the boys have been her longer than that. I came up here after a dear friend passed away on the Kyle's job and it hit him very hard, hit us all very hard. I felt this was the place I needed to be, to be with my boys. It has been a journey, but as everyone always says time heals all wounds, but there will always be a scar just skin deep.
Thanksgiving and Christmas have came and went, as well as the New Year. It seems that we, Kyle and I, have took a turn down a new road in life and I am not really sure that I am excited about it yet. Kyle has been waiting this for years, but I just feel abandoned. You see both children have lives of their own now and do to my own mistakes one of them has less use for me than, well I don't even think I can describe it. I am learning that no matter how much you do or how much you give that one mistake will ruin a lifetime of affection. Does that even sound right? No, not really, like I said, I can't even describe it. I miss my family very much. I am praying everyday for God to help me learn how to deal.
There is a light in the middle of tunnel. I now have a grand baby. My son has started dating a high school sweet heart of his and with this relationship it has brought a baby girl into our lives. I am enjoying her so much. Every time I go shopping I am always looking for shoes or clothes, or toys or anything. I am enjoying her being around. I am very happy about this new vein of life that has opened here.
Today...I can't even keep one train of thought, is that ADD, no not quite; I'm just not sure how to stay on without bringing the darkness in and I am trying so hard to be surrounded by sunshine. So..today was a good day. Kyle, Dusty, and I went to the Trader's Village here in town. I didn't want to go at first because I really didn't want to spend money. Seems as if every time I go outside this apartment I am spending money for one reason or another, but Kyle twisted my arm; no not literally. Before going to Trader's Village we drove through the drive-through at McDonald's for lunch. I swear Kyle has no patience anymore. He used to have more patience than anyone I know, but not now days. It was just eating him to the bone that some woman had trouble making up her mind what she wanted to eat. It was "Com on woman we are at McDonald's they only have 12 choices!" OMG, please take a chill pill. Needless to say we made it through the line and headed to Trader's Village. Kyle went to get some pants to just to wear around the house so we headed straight to that booth. I have to say he did get a good deal, three pairs for $20. Dusty also found him some pants today, three for $30. This was a good thing, he really needed some pants. After getting pants we started walking around looking for a fence for britches so that I can let her out of the apartment by herself, you know like a travel fence for dogs. We searched and didn't find one. We did come across one booth that had a Wagner Cast iron pot that I made a great deal on, $8. I was excited. There was also a 1 gallon Ziploc bag full of wooden thread spools with thread on them. I got it for $4. There must be at least 50 or more spools. I think it will look cute on a something like a little antique rack. Hmm, we'll see.
Before we headed back to the apartment we went by Kroger's to get dinner, it was stuff for tacos. Guess who cooked, yep that would have been me. So we came home and I cooked and now I am on the computer. Kyle and Dusty have gone to be and here I sit on a horrible so called couch watching friends. There have been some funny episodes so far. So that's it, that's all that is on my mind, except I sure wish I knew how to be closer to my kids.
